Monday, August 23, 2010

Summer comes to an end

I sat in the city pool today, all by myself, with no one around and I forgot how good it feels to lay in the sun. As some of you know I have been spending all my waking moments studying for the black cloud that has been haunting me for months. I tried just about everything I could to pass (I will not mention the crazy things). As the terrible wife I am I scheduled my test for the day of Timmy's birth, not even realizing that it was his birthday. What a sweet guy...never even said a word. I have been enveloped in this dark cloud for months, and was starting to feel like there wasn't an end insight. I had been repeating clinicals, and training on multiple floors since graduation. Finally I obtained a job in the Mom baby unit, that I was happy and sad about. It doesn't feel like home yet, but hopefully soon. At least I can still see my friends from Labor and Delivery. At that point I felt I was wasting a summer, Timmy and I have not been on a vacation for some time, I was frustrated with me not passing and even more frustrated with my training. I was also still going to school. Three days before the test I crammed everything I could learn about nursing. The day before Laci and I went to get a manicure and a pedicure, we also went for some lunch and talked. The day of I slept in and went to the store to pick up my favorite candy bars thinking this will surely help during the test. I listened to my recordings all the way down to Vegas, and we checked into the Golden Nugget. We went to my all time fav, Cheesecake factory for dinner, and went back to the hotel and slept. The next day was my test. We slept in until about 8, went to breakfast, and I walked into black clouds home. I decided I would treat this test like a marathon, and I took a break every 30 questions and each break ate a mini candy bar, got a drink and used the restroom. I went slow and read each question carefully not knowing whether I was answering some of them correctly. At 66 questions I took one last break and had prepared myself thinking I would have another 200 questions. About 20 min later, the computer shut off, and I knew I was done. I felt this time was it, the questions were harder and I had a feeling I had passed. Timmy picked me up and we drove down the street to find internet access. My friends from nursing school had told me about a trick you could do to see if you passed. If you log into the website and try to reschedule a test, if it lets you, you didn't pass. If it doesn't let you sign up, then you did pass. That is exactly what mine did. I still knew in my heart that possibly this could be wrong and not give me the right results. Saturday however I logged on to the website and with my sister at my side I paid the money and next to my name....PASS. I had never been so happy in my life. For over 4 months this test has been haunting me and now I am finally done....I am an RN!!!
Here are the past two months in a nutshell, Timmy unfortunately did not get a job as a teacher, but is still a great husband working hard at the pool and planning on substituting this school year to get his foot in the door. Timmy and I continue to teach primary that we love, I got a job in mom/baby and continue to go to school. Honestly that has been our life. My sisters and I are planning to go to Boston next week and travel to Connecticut and New York. We have never been on a trip together, and hope that maybe we can do this as a tradition. Timmy and I will continue loving life and loving each other. You don't know what life has in-store.
Here are a few things I have learned in the past few weeks. You are your own destiny. You are the most important thing under the sun. It doesn't matter why you do things but what you do them for. Reading the scriptures can make you more happy than anything else you can think of...It is your salvation on the line, you can't afford not to read them.