You know life is crazy. One second your happy and doing the things that you love, and you have hope. The next second your told you can't do something that you have wanted your whole life. Life then moves in slow motion and you feel like you are trying to catch up with everything. Then while you are already down, someone steps on your chest.They tell you that you can't make mistakes, you have to try harder, no one is out to get you (but most of the mistakes you have made...the same person is complaining about). I am a doer. I like getting things done and I like seeing my progress. I like following steps. I have never been good at anything I have only been average at everything. The one thing I know I would be good at I can now not do on my own. My husband tells me that I have just hit a few bumps in the road. I am expecting too much out of myself. He says I am a great wife, a good nurse and I would be an even better mother. I have now not really eaten anything for three days but I am not hungry. I just want to be a great nurse and a mother. I love the medical field I am interested in it and I am good in emergencies. I move fast, I am on top of my game. But somehow I just don't know if I can be a nurse. 

I am back!!

It has been probably 6 months since I have truly been myself. I graduated nursing school, started working as a brand new nurse...the bottom of the totum pole, the newbie, the one who "doesn't know anything because she's new." And honestly I have felt like that. I started school directly after graduating and have been back to the books. I have been going to school since Kindergarten. My health has been in the crap hole. Coughing un-controllably for years now, and feeling like you can't breathe is not something fun. My heart would also feel funny and jump a lot. On my days off I would sit in front of the T.V. watching a movie, or two, or watching Grey's. I wouldn't do anything, I would lay around and do nothing. I am starting to feel much more like myself again. I went to an excellent allergist, found out I have major allergies, and a heart murmur, He put me on another medication that has helped a lot...I think, I guess time will tell. I am still having palpitations but hopefully those will go away or something. I am still getting testing done, but for the first time in years, I am feeling much better about the results. I started working on this book called 12 weeks to fertility. For months I have been seeing an herbalist her name is Julie. I have used her herbs for my coughing, and my overall health. Although I like her there was something else that I was missing. I started reading this book and I feel like I am focusing more on each organ, my eating habits, finding time to increase my Qi. I have also started doing yoga, thanks to my brother. It gives me time to clear my mind, and feel relaxed. Hopefully I will be able to keep all this up. Now I just need to get pregnant. :)

Back home, back to reality

Leaving the country of Costa Rica was a sad and happy thing. I think I was done with a few things in that country. First is the beans and rice for every meal. I was also done with not understanding the language, and the homeless dogs. The things I miss the most are of course the beach, the fruit and being with my husband 24/7. Driving into the gorge was beautiful, the orange color of the mountains against the clear blue haze of the sunset reminded me how much I love where we live, and happy that we are in America. The first day home we went back to work, and I came back to homework. This will be my last semester and I am so glad.  I just want to work and save money and have kids and travel, you can't forget about the traveling. My goals for the next coming weeks are to get my two spare bedrooms cleaned and organized and to finish the dresser in my garage. 

Humbled in Costa Rica

           It is the 5th day of our trip and once again we are having a great time. We started off the day going to church. At first I was a little bugged about our decision to go to the little branch in Manuel Antonio. We had been up until 0200, and then woke up around 0730, we were tired and we had played hard the day before. When we got into town we followed the missionaries directions to get to the branch house. We were told to look for the sign on the building that would identify the building as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I knew the building would not be anything like the buildings that we have in the states but I didn't realize that it would be almost exactly the way the small shack looking houses that people in the city were living in...well it was a little better than those houses. We were a little late and we had unfortunately missed the passing of the sacrament. While we were walking in one of the new members was getting confirmed a member of the church. Afterwards we quickly went to the back of the building, which was four rows back. Sitting there in a room full of 38 people (that is including the 11 children) was a humbling experience. We were in a room where we all believed in the same thing, singing the same songs that we normally sing in English. We didn't know anyone and no one knew us. We did not know what they were saying but we didn't need to. The people were happy and surrounded by a spirit that made me feel comfortable and calm. 

Here is the outside of the church building

 These are some of the houses just before you get to Manuel Antonio

              After church we met our group and went for a walk on the beach. We walked probably 1.5 miles just down to the other end where all the rocks were. The sun was intense and my legs were burning after all the walking, hiking and boogie boarding from the days before. I started getting a little sick from being hungry and being a little dehydrated. We ate some lunch at an excellent restaurant, one of the best this trip. We got chicken and rice, which was all mixed together, with it came a little salad with a vegetable that is part of the tops of the palm trees. It was also served with plantains and yucca. Wow they are great!! Ella has also continued to amaze us with her blended black beans, Salsa Lizano sauce, gallo pinto, and great eggs. After our lunch we went to Iguana tours and before loading the bus got some delicious ice cream. In their ice cream shops they have really odd flavors like cookie with caramel and orange, rum with fruit, and of course they great coconut and blackberry. They also everywhere sell their fresh fruit juice. Blackberry, strawberry, watermelon, mango, tamarind, passion fruit, guanabana, and cas fruits are what they typically serve for juice. We got in the bus and we went to our catamaran tour. We were on a boat for about 3.5 hours circling the coast of Manuel Antonio and got to snorkel, watch the sunset, dance, and even get stung by a jelly fish :). We had a great time, and before going home we got more ice cream, stopped by a market, a bakery and then went and sang karaoke. Now we are home and planning to sleep in our room above the ocean. Tomorrow will be a new day full of sun, sand, surf and of course always something new. 

The Long walk

Me and the Girls

Timmy Karaoke to Hotel California

Life on the run

           Here we go again, updating the blog after 2 months have passed. Well right now I am over looking the ocean from this beautiful house in Costa Rica. This trip has been amazing so far, and we still have 3 and a half days to go. On this trip so far we have done so much; a beach day, a zip-lining day, exploring, and seeing the sights. I have always been a fan of traveling and feel like I am a veteran. I have been to Hawaii, New York City twice, Boston, Connecticut, Chicago, Amsterdam, Munich Germany, Nice and Paris France, Venice Italy, Switzerland, Austria, and England. Every where I have been I love trying the new food, meeting the people and enjoying the sights. I feel like I learn so much and feel more and more complete, each time I come home. This trip so far the things I have enjoyed the most are the new and fresh fruits, the ocean view from our house, and exploring with my husband. To tell you the truth, I also think that I have lost weight...no treats just fruit, beans and rice :)

           As for the last few months, I turned 25, We celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. For my birthday my hubby  and I went to Chili's and went and played at fiesta fun, yeah I know that sounds like a boring night. For me it was just great. We had a great date night, had fun, and then went back to the house. For Thanksgiving my Lena and Steve and their 2 boys came, Lani and her kids, and Todd and Bryan. We had a really good time going to the craft fair, tie dying shirts, and just playing with the fam. Timmy and I also spent half of Thanksgiving with Timmy's family riding four wheelers. Timmy in the month of November got a full time teaching job, for the end of the school year at Three Falls elementary school in Hurricane. A few weeks went by of working and cleaning the house and Christmas came along. I was suppose to work Christmas Eve night but I got called off, and I was really appreciative of it. I spent the first few hours of the night with my family. Reading the story in the Bible, opening our "Special Persons" gift and drinking Coca-Cola right out of the bottle, and you can't forget Quincy's talent. Then we went over to Timmy's moms house and we wrote every one their nice notes, ate the rice pudding, and opened our gifts. For New Years we baby sat Bonnie and Aaron's kids as part of their Christmas gift. We had them over ate pizza, went to Twilight at midnight, watched fireworks, watched a movie, and banged pots and pans at midnight. It was really fun and makes me excited to have kids. As the new year came around and I was thinking about my resolutions a few things came into my mind. One was that I want to be a mom so bad. I am married to a man I love and we have spent 4 and a half beautiful years together, I am 25, I have traveled, finished school, bought a house, have a career, and I am ready to have a baby. I want to read more books, catch up on my scrap-booking, save money and of course the one everyone has is lose weight and get in shape. Now a week later I am in a beautiful country with beautiful people and friends . I just may never come back......   

past few months in pictures

life update

I was just informed by my friend Brittany that I need to update my blog....what the heck it has been 2 months, crazy. Well Here is a little update. I have been hired on to Mom/Baby, I work 2 nights and 1 day shift a week...I know I am crazy. Timmy is substituting (I don't know if that is a word) about everyday. On our days off or hours off I should say we are going to Riley's football games, going to Sunday family dinners, hanging out with family, teaching primary, cleaning our house, going to school, community service, we also celebrated our 4th anniversary, going deer hunting. Don't worry I will post a plethora of pictures as soon as I get some time. I work tonight, will sleep tomorrow day, I work tomorrow night and will sleep Thursday day, Thursday night I will be making caramel apples and carving pumpkins for my primary kiddies, Friday day I work and after we are going to the cabin with Brooke and Johan, then it is Halloween!! yeah so some time from now until then when I get an hour or so I will post all the pics